I haven’t posted much lately because I’ve been so busy with work. I got a job polishing rocket nose cones. I bet you didn’t know New Brunswick had rockets. I bet you didn’t know rockets had janitors! I will share with you one of the first things I learned at this crazy job: space is a messy place.
So there’s a new Richie Hawtin mix on SoundCloud and it’s two hours long. This is a political issue. How is a super-busy, stressed-out working class dude supposed to find two whole hours to listen to a DJ mix? Two hour DJ mixes are a pleasure of the leisure classes. Well, after a long day of polishing rocket nose cones I just want to unwind and listen to some Plastikman. So I’ve decided to listen to this thing while cooking supper.
No matter how long a day you’ve worked at the Gaspereau Forks rocket silo, a man still has to eat.
As some of you may know I only ever cook using a crock pot. It takes six hours to prepare enough food for a family of five and then I warm it up all week long.
It’s 10pm, I just got home, put the crock on, it’ll be ready at 4am, I leave for work at 5. No problem.
So now I’m listening to this Plastikman mix. Gonna see if I can get through the whole two hours while I sit and watch the crock pot. It’s not his typical techno stuff, more of an ambient, drone-y sort of vibe. More like a Basic Channel, “Consumed” kind of vibe. I’m 45 minutes in. It’s really good slow-cooker-watching music.
The crock pot is starting to warm up nicely. It’s full of vegetables and I threw in some hot Italian sausage plus a ton of chili spice.
The music sounds real nice. It reminds me of weather patterns swirling over an alien landscape.
In the thin Martian atmosphere, a cave is revealed. You can barely fit through the entrance to the cave in your pressure suit. Inside the cave, a crock pot glows with a subtle violet light. It’s plugged in. Condensation speckles the glass lid like refracted sunlight in the eye of an alien insect.
You sit down on the cave floor and stare at the crock pot. For how long? Hard to say. It feels like an hour and a half. Time has no meaning on this strange planet.
Is it your imagination, or is it starting to smell really good in here? Can smells travel in the absence of an atmosphere?
You have the rest of eternity to ponder that question.
As a bonus track, here is the best minimal techno video ever. Richie Hawtin playing a cowbell on a balcony in Berlin.